Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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