I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
