Whod you bang
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
