ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
