The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
