I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
