highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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