You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
