All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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