i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
