My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
