how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
