I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
