I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
