i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I need to align my fucking chakras
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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