I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
