He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
