oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
