"it" just moved
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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