he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
