is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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