just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
