sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
