Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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