Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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