shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
