Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
