She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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