I heard we made out
well I can't set my house on fire every night
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I can't turn off my feet"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
