i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
