If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
