i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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