I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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