not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If I die, sorry about rent.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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