I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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