So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
