what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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