i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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