A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
