Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
