I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize