like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
