I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
