Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
