So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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