So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Your dad touched me again.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
