Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
