you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
