your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize