Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
