Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Randomize
