clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
