Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
