he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
