I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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