You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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