do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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