Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
