butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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