no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
