Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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