did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
