I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just invented taco cereal.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
