What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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