did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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