I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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