Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
