just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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