I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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