you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We need to rekindle our bromance
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
