would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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