I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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