Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
