What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
