Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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