i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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