I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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