buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
