Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
