Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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