the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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