Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
