Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
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